Jan. 20th, 2010

plumgirl: (fairy)
One's approach to life can be taken several ways --
one being sort of the floating along, "come what may", sort of passive observer type of point of view;
then there is the active, "I make life what it will be,"
and then there is sort of the in-between, or the "I don't know really, but maybe if I want something enough, I'll grab it" sort of point of view.

If I were to classify the person I have been all along, I'd hazard a guess that I'm sort of the "floating along," type who sort of made it this far only because I was lucky enough to be born into a pragmatic family who kind of kept me walking in a general direction (even if I generally kind of floated randomly). But for all intensive purposes, I've been a daydreamer from the time I was little, creating stories during playtime, or later in my head when nothing else was there to occupy my hands and mind.

One of the charming things about being a daydreamer is that you're easily self-entertained and sustained. But on the downside, I gather that a person who lives in dreams finds life sometimes a little too easily to accept. Your motivations are inwardly driven and shaped, you kind of don't care much about external things like praise, fame, awards... money, only so much as to let you keep daydreaming comfortably :)

You get kind of complacent and lazy. In my case, I'm not sure it's okay to continue to be sort of in la-la land. Shouldn't I be doing something with an active imagination? Shouldn't your natural tendencies (gifts?) be steered towards something productive? Wouldn't that maximize both my creativity and overall happiness?

That's one thing I've been pondering... among many things. You see, I dont' want to get to my mid-life crisis and REALLY freak out when I evaluate where I've been heading all along.
I'd rather be fiddling with my compass now, shaking it about, looking at maps and thinking of places I'd like to go.

I'd like to really sense of who am I going to be the next ten to fifteen years and then try to stop being a random tumbleweed.
I want to emerge from this next decade being able to say without any regrets "I knew what I wanted and I chased it down."

To get there, I think I'd like to know the questions I should be asking myself and the scenarios I should be imagining as a means to figuring it all.
Like for starters, "WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY."


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